slightly left of center thoughts

I was never really a fan of blogging. Why post when I can always write in my old, tattered, personalized journal and pour my heart out the old-fashioned way? But then again, the world is becoming more complex each day…so even if i love the smell and feel of paper,  i figured, why not give this a try? anyway, new discoveries keep you upbeat, right?..hahaha now i can say that i am a late-bloomer in the blogger’s world. It’s never too late for anything!

Honestly, I really am a private person and its seems hard at first to give people a chance to peek into the recesses of my often disorganized and topsy-turvy mind. But hell! who says somebody’s ever going to read this anyway? It’s a total waste of their time hehe..

Tonigt, while I am listening to my fave alternatives, i just felt the blues..just out of nowhere it slowly sneaked on me.. i’ll tell you one thing: LATELY, MY DAYS ARE EITHER A FRIEND OR A FOE.

You see, this past few months I seemed to be so engrossed with how I should be running my life. I’m 23 going 24 this year. Must I have a clear-cut plan for my future? Well, i sorta sketched one, but I am not so sure if I can even fulfill half of it (stuffs like having a masters degree, then a phD, then having a display-worthy beau, get real doreen!!)..and sometimes i really get ‘depressed’ while browsing into my friends’ profiles..all of them seems so…NORMAL.

Can’t relate? its because i’ve chosen the unconventional path. i took the unstructured life, which only few people can understand. i guess it has also been the cause of my ‘musings’ lately.  My happiness now depends on whether i have a new project or not. my peace of mind depends on whether the clients have revision requests or none [their silence, i interpret as a sign of satisfaction with my work =)]. And most of the times, im just PARANOID.

mY friend joann told me that perhaps daw it’s about time i seek professional help, haha! ’so honest, a real friend indeed!

sigh,  i must admit this is really quite self-gratifying (heehee im so self-centered). i’ve exhausted some of the steam that is building up inside me.maybe on my next kadramahan session i’ll clear up some of the mess i created here. so pano ba yan, ciao!

~ by frozenmocha on January 15, 2006.